Article about me!

Here is the article, printed today in the Times News. A few disclaimers before you read it, though:

--The name of my book is Surviving Serendipity, not Surrendering Serendipity.
--I was a very IMAGINATIVE child.
--My cats are named Neville and Hermione.
--I am not a certified phlebotomist, nor did I take classes to become a phlebotomist.

Please don’t hate on the reporter, though, as she is very sweet and means the absolute best. She sent me a sincere apology and will be printing a retraction, most likely in tomorrow’s paper. And the article is very good; it really captures the spirit of my journey quite well.

a surreal feeling

So, I've been reading this new book, Author 101. It's exactly what I need...telling me how to effectively market my book, now that it's being published. Most books out there only tell you how to get published.
The book focuses a lot on media, and tells you to make a "media list," divided into subgroups A, B, and C. C is your local newspapers, B is media organizations which cover a large area, and A is, well, Oprah.
I begin my list, collect phone numbers for all the local media, some for the B list...and then I stop. And I think. Why am I shooting so low? Well, because I have a better shot at the C and B listers, that's why. Yeah, that's great. But explain to me again why I'm not calling Oprah?
To make a long story short, the reason for my heading is that I now have a listing in my cell phone entitled "Oprah". Yeah, I know it's not exactly her private line, but it still makes me feel pretty weird. And a little scared, too. But come to think of it, there's never been a "big" moment in this process where I haven't been scared. And so far, it's worked out for the best. I have to keep telling myself, what's the worst they're going to say? No? I've heard that one before. The word is becoming less and less impressive.
To dawdle a little ways from the main storyline...I tell everyone that almost every job I've ever gotten, I've gotten through sheer harassment. When someone is calling you every single week to check in and see if you've read the resume and if you have any questions, sooner or later you're going to either a) call the cops, or b) bring them in for an interview, just so they'll quit filling up your voicemail box. Usually, I end up with b), mainly, I think, since I'm very polite and sound like I'm twelve, and they might be afraid to make me cry.
Hereto and forthwith, I am applying that to interviews. The Today Show, Oprah...I'm going to call them all. Repeatedly. And with gusto. I'm not giving up till I hear an absolute, positive, without-a-shadow-of-a-waffle no. And even then, they'll be hearing from me for my next book.
Chicago, here I come.

you just can't make some people happy...

You know, I've just about had it with everyone's "rights." The right to sue someone if their coffee is too hot, if they break into someone's house and the owner shoots them, the right to their own free speech, but the right to limit mine, so it doesn't offend them.
A blurb on CNN this morning pushed me over the edge. The state of Georgia is experiencing such dire drought conditions, Governor Sonny Perdue announced he'll be holding a prayer vigil on Tuesday, to ask God for rain. The response from several Georgia ministers astounded me. To paraphrase, they essentially said this violates the separation of church and state, and questioned his right to pray for the state publicly.
Excuse me, but...WHAT? I thought the whole point of ministry and religion was to get as many people praying as possible, not to worry about whose toes were getting stepped on. So, what, do we now have to have an ordained clergy person overseeing a moment of silence for the troops at a football game, a group prayer at a family reunion? Since when do you have to be qualified to ask for guidance, for help, from whatever higher power you believe in? Since when does the governor, or anyone, for that matter, have to apply for the right to pray?
Absolutely disgusting.

but were they chocolate chip?

Kids, don't do drugs. Just don't. For one, they're bad for you...they make your teeth fall out, make you smell bad, give you diseases, and eventually kill you. For another, you could end up a victim of your favorite snack food.
An Illinois student found out the hard way. First, two men to which he owed money for marijuana broke into his home and demanded $400. Then, they beat him with a paddle, poured urine on him, shaved his head...and burned him with freshly-baked cookies. Yep.
So, again, kids, don't do drugs--or you, too, could end up the victim of a widely mocked torture session.
Oh, another reason not to do drugs--it's expensive. Inflation has trickled down to the drug trade, according to border officials. Save your money for an iPhone. MySpace may be addictive, but it's still legal, with none of the nasty anti-hygienic side effects of drugs.

The Invasion

I feel like Haley Joel Osmond—except instead of dead people, I see chipmunks everywhere.
I brake for animals, all animals, including rodents. I’ve nearly driven off the road trying to avoid hitting a field mouse. So, in the fall, driving behind me is like playing a slightly more dangerous version of “Red Light, Green Light,” since, approximately every 1500 feet or so, a wind-blown leaf skitters across the road, and I brake, thinking it’s a chipmunk.
These leaves are crafty, though. They want me to think they’re chipmunks. They dart in zigzag patterns. They crawl slowly forward, then dash out in front of my tires, indecisive as any squirrel. I even caught a leaf hopping the other day.
So, if you get behind a red Jeep Cherokee Sport this fall, better double the car-length buffer rule. I brake for foliage.

a miracle has occurred...

My dog and cat slept on the couch today. Together. They were TOUCHING.

If you'd lived in my house for the past ten months, you'd understand how amazing this is.